I could have called this “How to Get People to Agree with You.” I’m often amused when asked psychological questions about changing other people’s habits. I have little formal training in psychology, but years of teaching, parenting, and partnership have given me a steady crash course in human behavior.
The specific question I hear most is:
How do I get my parents, spouse, sibling, roommate, children, teachers, or boss on board with green cleaning?
The advice that follows isn’t unique to green cleaning; these approaches work for almost any change you want others to adopt — from personal hygiene and healthy eating to managing money or even persuading someone to support your favorite sports team.
There are some common principles that help, and a few tactics that never do. What doesn’t work: nagging, whining, yelling, threatening, being condescending, or sneaking into someone’s space and throwing out their cleaners. None of those tactics would persuade you, and they won’t persuade someone else. Trust me — that last one is especially unwise.
Ten Techniques
1. Identify persuasion trigger points. Think about the person you want to influence. What matters to them? Cost? Convenience? Effectiveness? Scent? Tailor your message to those priorities.
Examples: “This bottle of organic soap dilutes to make 32 bottles of all-purpose spray. That brings the cost per bottle down to about 46 cents versus $3.29 for Brand X.”
“I’ve mixed a few green solutions and put them under the sink. With this one cleaner I can tackle the whole bathroom.”
“According to reputable sources, soap and water are often just as effective at removing germs as many chemical cleaners, and they have fewer side effects.”
“If you like a strong ‘this is clean’ scent, try a blend of tea tree and eucalyptus essential oils in this spray.”
2. Teach it. Green cleaning sometimes requires a bit of technique. Host a short demonstration — thirty minutes is enough. Serve a snack and people are more likely to show up. Demonstrate an All-Purpose Spray and what to use for mopping, toilets, dishes, and laundry. Post clear dilution cheat sheets inside the cleaning cabinet so the how-to is always available.
3. Model it. Consistent modeling is essential. If you talk about green cleaning but never use it, others won’t take you seriously. Offer to clean for a week using green methods and invite feedback: “I’ll clean the kitchen this week with these products — tell me how clean it looks to you.” Invite them to try your method on laundry day and compare results together.
4. Listen to them. Ask about their concerns and really listen. People want to be understood; when you reflect their worries and respond respectfully, they’re more likely to be open. For example: “I hear your concern that green cleaners don’t smell convincing. I’ve read that strong chemical scents can also be problematic because particles can affect respiratory health.”
5. Aim for gradual change. Don’t try to replace every product at once. Start small — window cleaning with a simple vinegar-and-water mix or swapping baking soda for abrasive powders are easy wins that demonstrate effectiveness without causing resistance.
6. Be gracious and patient. Remember your own learning path. Sometimes seeds need time to take root. Plant ideas gently, then step back and let them grow.
7. Be positive. Avoid criticizing past choices. Instead of “Everything you’ve been doing is wrong,” say, “Next time we mop I’d love to show you an easy method that won’t leave residues or fumes.” A positive framing makes people more receptive.
8. Choose the right timing. Timing matters. Don’t introduce change when someone is tired, hungry, rushed, or stressed. Look for a calm, teachable moment.
9. Do your homework. Be ready to answer reasonable questions. Share trustworthy, research-based information so you come across as credible.
10. Compliment. Use the “sandwich technique”: start with a genuine compliment, offer the suggestion, then close with another positive remark. This softens the message and increases receptivity. For example: “You keep the car looking great — thanks for that. I know the air freshener helps mask odors, but some of those products release chemicals that can cause headaches. When it smells musty, try opening the windows briefly or a light spritz of an organic lavender spray. I really appreciate how tidy you keep the car.”
My Story
I went through this process myself. I adopted greener cleaning habits before my husband did. We found compromise helpful: when I cleaned, I used the products I preferred; when he cleaned, he used his. Over time, seeing clean surfaces, healthy family outcomes, and attractive results helped persuade him. Research-based evidence also mattered to him: published findings showing that routine exposures from cleaning can affect respiratory health helped make the case.
Now we’re largely on the same page. We still keep an old bottle of a conventional cleaner tucked on a high garage shelf — never used, but a small token of peace.
Consider this a note about relationships: the only person you can truly change is yourself. You can encourage, inform, and influence others, but the decision to change is ultimately theirs.
Further Resources to Help Your Quest of Persuasion
Research-based information
- Cleaning Supplies and Your Health – Environmental Working Group
- Fragrance and Asthma – California Department of Health
- Cleaning Supplies and Household Chemicals – American Lung Association
- “Cleaning Your House May Be As Bad As Smoking 20 Cigarettes A Day” – Forbes Magazine
Ratings of specific products
- Check product ratings in the Environmental Working Group’s Guide to Healthy Cleaning for grades and ingredient breakdowns.
What my cleaning cabinet looks like
- See an example of a simple, effective cleaning cabinet to inspire your own setup.
*Or substitute your favorite team. I don’t necessarily follow any particular team closely, though I admire fans who brave cold weather to enjoy the game.
Further reading
- Decluttering the Hurry From My Schedule
- Decluttering My House, One Identity at a Time
- Decluttering the Voices in My Life
Many of these tips and more appear in my book, Soap & Soul: A Practical Guide to Minding Your Home, Your Body, and Your Spirit with Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soaps, available in print and audio. The book includes practical guidance for using simple, effective, and health-conscious cleaning methods in everyday life.